uncertainties

"simple lang ang buhay, pinapacomplica pa... Nde na dapat! ", paulito advised...

i should've listened.

ang mga bagay na hindi tama sa simula pa lang, eh, malabong tumagal. ang mga madaling nakuha, madali ring nawawala. bad trip...

dapat nung nabigo ako nung una, nanahimik muna ako sa isang sulok. pero ako? si Carlo? Ha! nde pupwede yun sa ken! dapat complikado buhay! eto napala ko... hay naku...

the end is near. i feel it coming. i know it's coming. i am told it's to come, soon.
i should've known better. i should've been wiser. i should've thought deeper, clearer...
i should've considered everything there is to consider.

everything is cool as it is right now...
the best actually... i'm having the time of my life...

the bad thing is, when the day has drawn to a close; as a i lay me down to sleep... i ponder about the thing to come. i don't think i'm ready for it; at least not yet.

i don't need this right now. i didn't need this.
but i wanted it... stupid me.

i don't know which is worse - not knowing end is coming; dealing with the end without knowing the reason why it ended; or knowing end is imminent, with it's reasons clear and present but not knowing how to deal with it when it does...

i really don't know much these days...
my blog entries don't even feel right... nor do they make much sense...

bad trip...