There's Just No Pleasing Some People

i got a call yesterday during my early dawn shift of 3am. I greeted the hag with the regular greeting spiel, "Hi my name is Carlo, how may I help you?".

Hag: "I'm using a Macintosh Windows Xp Millenium edition. I got you all as my internet service provider, and i run on high speed broadband dial up dsl cable connection through Brighthouse. I'm paying you all thousands and thousands of dollars and i can't connect to the internet! This all happened when you sent me this email last week wanting me to give out my social securiyt number and my credit cards! it's asking me for three and i only gave them two cause i only have two cc's! is that why you all cut off my internet!? your service is ridiculous! i want this fixed right now!!!!"

Slave: "i'm sorry to hear that, Hag. Let me see if i can help you with that probl..."

Hag(interrupting): "you better! i'm losing 16hundred dollars per minute while your stupid service is not working for me."

Slave: "Let's proceed. First that email you mentioned it's not from us. it's a scam email. it's no legitimate correspondence from us and we never send out such request to customers. we shall nev..."

Hag (interrupting): "YOU MEAN YOU SCAMMED ME!!! HOW DARE YOU!!! YOU'LL HEAR FROM MY LAWYER FIRST LIGHT TOMORROW!!!"

Slave: "Hag, i would like to clarify somethings. It's not from us. you have been scammed by someone else. i would like to request from you to please forard that email to our fraud department with the email's full headers. dou you know how to do that mam? if not i would be happy to assist you."

Hag: "Of course i know how to do that! what do you think of me! i (was) a system administrator of our company!"

Slave: "I see, so please forward it to ***@elnk.net with full headers so we can try to work on it for our custom..."

Hag: "what are headers? and what do you mean forward it?, send it to other people? are you crazy? i don't want others to have the same bad experience i got from you guys!"

Slave(aggravated): "let me me show you how..."

***20 frustating minutes later...

Hag: "it's that easy! Ha! tsk tsk tsk... i know that... i was just testing you kids if you know how to do it... I want to you to change my password, right now."

***2 minutes later...

Slave: "uhm... ok. done."

Hag: "one more thing i need you to change my social security number too..."

Slave: "err... i don't think that is even possible. and even if it were possible we are not the people you need to speak with. contact your local municipality, try to find someone who "can" try to do this for you."

Hag: "AHA! i know you would say that! that's what you guys are good at! giving the pointing finger. it's always not you who can deal with it. always passing the blame to someone else..."

Slave: "No Reaction..."

Hag: "you there? you there? you there? you there?"

Slave: "yes i'm here. i can't assist you on that."

Hag: "Oh well, tell me this, why can't i go online?"

Slave: "what lights are solid on the cable modem?"

Hag: "what cable modem. the cable guy took it out last yesterday because they say it was defective, they said they will bring it back tomorrow!"

Slave (stumped): "Hag, what can i say, that's the reason why you are not online. you don't have a cable modem present in your network."

Hag: "what has my NETWORTH got to do with this?!!! do you think I can't afford you all! i can buy your company right now if i wanted to!!!?"

Slave: "Hag, i said netWORK, not netWORTH. you don't have a cable modem, how can you connect to the internet!"

Hag: "I have cable! that's how! Is there a supervisor i can speak with. you don't seem to know what you're doing."

Slave: "None."

Hag: "oh well, what can i do, i'll just call other cable providers which are cheaper than yours and they don't give you darn excuses that just because you have your cable modem for repair you can't use your cable service!!!"

Slave: "i'm sorry you feel that way, but just go over your last statement, and if you analyze it, you will see it my way. i wish i can do more for you."

Hag: "yes there is, send me those survey forms that you all send out and i will tell them how much your service sucks!"

***Hag hung up...
this is a true story. It was my first call, and it lasted for 42 aggravating minutes.
I can only do so much...some people are impossible...