stressed mad cat...

there's nothing more that i want to do today than to bite-unlatch grenade pins, hurl 'em towards any busy street or crowd-infested area, and watch all of them blow sky high; mangled bodies and all shebang...

and if i run out of bombs, i would whip out a heavily-ammo'd gatling gun and shred every soul down to pieces no bigger than a burger patty and then incinerate 'em down to crisp...

then, internally, i know, i shall have bliss...

shit happens...

funny, how a perfectly good day can go disastrously wrong...

AHT is soaring high, QA is just highlight on my chart, reschedule of interview was declined, and i'm freakingly stressed out from work!

pakshet!!!

2 stresstabs a day don't work for me no more!
i need a beer and a good night's, er... day's sleep!

wet monday mornings....

it has been a very rainy and wet monday morning.

i spent my last hours in Pampanga sitting on a badly beaten old chair by our second floor window. i can see the my cats, furrier than usual because of the cold weather curled up on the gate's posts watching the kids getting soaked under the rain, while one of them was all balled up on top of the car keeping up with his daily routine of sleeping. i can see our do, also watching the kids helplessly from afar; kids, which on a normal day he would bark at, hunt, chase and run after to shoo them away from his territory. it was raining, he can't get to them, at least not today.

it is pouring really hard. it's really nice.
the sight of hard rain and soft cool breeze blowing plants and trees to a dance just gives me a very comforting feeling... i can see small puddles on the people-free street swelling up, small streams of rainwater running by the sidewalk canals, hear rain thumping overhead our rooves, smell the wet plants' and ground soil's garden scents... ah... nice, just nice...

it was such a good morning... i love rain.

bad morning greetings...

"Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion."

this was the first sms i received early this morning from an unknown sender.

"thanks for brightening up my day, PSYCHO!"

bati na ulet kame...

it had been a very long work night for me. i was not feeling well most of my shift, i have had very bad calls, no upsells and a badly beaten mouse. the second the cms showed 3:01 on it's digital lcd, i hit the three most important buttons in PS, menu, ad2, release...

the light gone off the auto-in led has brought me such a comforting feeling. i just sunk in my seat, closed my eyes and had quick shut eye for 15 minutes.

funny how i always wish for my shift to end, but when it does end, i duwanna go home.

i decided to scout for greener pasture within the confines of PS. I decided to prepare an IJAF, which was never an easy task. it took me 3 hours to finally finish the darn thing. then peps and i went down to get food, then 20 minutes later pau and i had gone down again, after that finally i decided to pass the ijaf at Philam. before i knew it, it was already 9am. bougeoisie, tangos ilong, poste and the rest of the am people were already geared for their shifts when i left the building. i got home at around 9:30am, then there they were.

Two green vertical eyes glaring straight right at me...

I asked him, "what?" He got up and walked towards me and blared, "Bakit ngaun ka lang? Kanina pa ko dito ah!!!" "Pwede, pagod ako! H'wag kang magulo!", i exclaimed as i got my keys out, opened the door and shoved my way inside. "Ah, ganun! Ganun lang yun! wala kang puso! wala kang awa! Pagkatapos kitang damayan lage sa mga problema mo, ganun mo na lang ako babalewalaen! hahayaan mo lang akong magutom! ang sama mo!" he said from the other end of the door.

"Me trabaho ako, meron akong buhay at saka ngaun lang naman ako ulit na late ng uwi ah! konting consideration naman. Ginagawa ko naman lahat ang dapat ah", i explained. I heard him mumbling, "Gutom na gutom na ko...kung meron lang akong pera, nde ako aasa sa'yo, kung kaya ko lang bumili mag-isa, wala kang maririnig sa ken!"

Hearing those words, with very little strength left, i got up, slowly opened the door and seeing him weakened with hunger, i said, "Tara na, kain na tayo sa baba..."

at 11 am, i found myself at mang joel's place with him gnawing on his breakfast by my foot. i may only have 5 hours left, but at least i can sleep soundly and with a clear conscience.

eF eLle yoU...

i really don't feel well today. i'm not sick, but i feel i'm just 25% of original me today...
i already slept 7 hours which is more than enough compared to my regular 4-5 hour sleep routine on regular days. muscles feel cold and sore, and i just feel really tired and worn out.

i arrived at PS, just 2 minutes shy from being late. someone already occupied my station so i had to settle with the corner station where 2 aircon vents can freeze your brain dry. they removed the newspapers that we cover them with probably because client visitors are currently walking the cold halls of the 32nd and 33rd floors.

now, i'm down to 23%. this is not good.
i feel nauseous and cold.

i see it now... peeping by the door... creeping forward...
it's coming...