soaked wet... nice...

summer time is ready to step aside now and make way for wet season which is already around the corner.

it's still sweltering hot during mornings till late noon, but dark clouds can already be seen looming from afar.

i've always loved wet season. i loved the rain; happy or sad my mood maybe, i loved the rain. whether i'm under it or watching it trickle down the windows, it gives me a comforting feeling.

before going to work this afternoon,at around 2pm, i woke up feeling really hungry for i have not taken any food since my lunch break from work which was 16 hours ago then...

i got up and decided to go to jolllibeer and have a champ meal. while i was happily munching on my burger, it happened. the first real rain after a long while fell like grace from the heavens; and it's not just those summer rains where in the sun shone like hell. it rained amidst a cool, gloomy gray sky with a moderate calming breeze.

i hurriedly finished by lunch,then armed with a chocolate sundae, and 2 mango pies, i braved the 10 minute walk to my boarding house. it was such a wonderful feeling! the last time i got soaked wet by the rain was around a year ago already when i went to fetch astronaut from GMA one stormy night and got drenched by the heavy rainfall, not to mention the knee-high floodwaters i had to brave through...

when i got home, i got a small chair, sat in the middle of the parking lot and enjoyed the rain as itim, our looban cat, lazily watched me from afar...

such a blissful afternoon...

mondays... i hate mondays...

today will be my first day back on the regular ops floor since abay. i should be happy.

finally, after being tagged one of bottom feeders of the team, i'm off that team. i won't be forced anymore to sell; just to upsell. i have my old team back. i'm back to my regular 11x4 shift, with fridays and weekends off. i should be happy.

i no longer have leave the house by midnight. i have free flowing water supply, and a gamut of fast food chains to pick for lunch and dinner. i should be happy.

but why am i not?

i'll miss my primetime shows like meteor garden (yeah, i like that crappy korean series! sue me! it brings back very good memories...) i'll miss mall hopping and movie doing marathons after shift.

i'll also miss being carefree with QA and AHT. also, i will miss the leniency of my supe with regard to following break and lunch schedules.

most of all, i will also miss bourgeoisie and tangos ilong. they will only be around for 2 hours max on this schedule. damn!

oh hell...
maybe it's just my screwed up body clock talkin...

nice...

i was so tired because i had to join my mom yesterday in her hunt for a new mouse and keyboard, which i just found out won't fit any of her jurassic pc's ports. hay...

i was awake for 23 hours yesterday that i found no strength to wake myself last night to do GY overtime. i woke up 7 am, and decided to do am otrd.

got in JG at 7:45, managed to set up by 7:55, and was acd by 8. 10calls later i heard "ka-ching!"

it was already 12nn. i already earned P1000 easy! not just that, bourgeoisie and tangos-ilong were on the floor, making my 10 minute bus ride worth it!

it's such a good morning...

hope the afternoon is better...

thoughts...

it's 11:30am.
another day has just gone by.
though the night was long, it was a fulfilling one. i had another sale tonight.

i feel really contented this morning. we had good food last night, courtesy of ELNK, good abay team performance, not so bad aht, and P200 worth of GC, and P3600 performance bonus. had bourgeoisie been here, it would've been a perfect night.

i wonder where she is right now. i read her blog 2 days ago, where she was talking about the movie date she and her boyfriend shared; and also she talked about her fondness of cameras, and her passion for taking pictures. she seemed so happy. good for her. just hope she ain't sick again.

as i was finishing this blog, i saw one of her teammates lead out of the hiring room a squad of 15-20 ps applicants who unfortunately didn't make it through the test. she had been tasked to deliver the bad news that they didn't make it. let me sell routers, let me solve tech problems, let me be the shock absorber for double-billed customers; but don't give me her job.

i was packing my things to go home when i just remembered our looban cat's look when i left him last night. he had always been there on top of the parked passenger jeepney inside the minicourt to bid me goodbye whenever i leave for work. last night, he had an odd look on his face that is somehow telling me to buy him somethign when i get back home. i don't know if it's just me or am just too sleepy still then that i felt he was talking to my mind, asking for pasalubong...

where the hell can i get cat food at 12 noon.
i don't wanna deprive the cat. if he had money and enough brain cells, he would just carried himself to the groceries and pack up on whiskas...
oh well...

i don't wanna go to megamall just for him...
i think he will settle with galunggong from mang joel's store...

i need sleep...

sales is not always about B.S.

i got two homenet sales today!

yep, not one, but two!

what makes it better is the fact that i didn't b.s. my way to making them give in to my offer!
no bull, no crap

i sold them not through sales talk. i didn' t sell as a salesperson, i was a consultant giving expert advice.

sweet...

abay rep = technician with 0 sales conversion

this week has been a very good learning, at the same time humbling experience for me. I have been in detention for not upselling in my calls for our routers. Honestly, i have been upselling them but their stupid loggers didn't see my logs. I even sold two of those friggin routers, but they didn't take that into consideration. story cut short, i'm in Abay for two weeks.

i told my sold myself, they can go to hell for all i care. i'm gonna sell 'em stupid routers, graduate myself in two weeks and i would tender my resignation and walkout with my head held up high! I pride myself with the thought that i can do anything i put my mind into. i have been through a lot in my life. i know i can dodge any bad thing thrown my way and come out as a victor. that's me, i'm carlo and i can conquer.

that wasn't the case this week. i thought i can do good with my calls and hopefully bag three or four sales a day since that is our priority that's what i will concentrate on. they require one sale per week, so i said, "HA! screw 'em! i can do this!"

it was harder than i thought. i do upsells on my calls. no problem. but making a sale, or forcing one was a different ballgame.

i have always been a straight in my dealings. that was the way i have been brought up and that's the path i shall tread. i never screw people, cause i know how bad it feels be ripped off. same with my work, i have never bullcrapped my customers. i give them black if it's black, white if it's white. our supe for abay has been a very good tech when he was still on the floor. he was a mentor during my first months in Elnk, and i owe a lot of my tech skills from him. but right now he is my supe; supe in sales. one of his most famous motivational advises is "Sales is about B.S. B.S. your way to make it in sales..."

maybe that's why i'm not good in sales. i never offer people b.s.

supe says "If one can sell cigarettes, which are really bad for your health and can kill you, think of the possibilities in sales..."

i thought to myself, "wow, very good point!", and i admire those people's skills in convincing others to patronize things which can kill them...

but then again, i still prefer sound sleep at night and a clear conscience.

i'll wait and see. i have one week extension in abay, since i have made no sale on the last one. i think i'll stay a little while longer in PS, til i graduate from abay; after that, the hunt for greener and "cleaner" pasture.

There's Just No Pleasing Some People

i got a call yesterday during my early dawn shift of 3am. I greeted the hag with the regular greeting spiel, "Hi my name is Carlo, how may I help you?".

Hag: "I'm using a Macintosh Windows Xp Millenium edition. I got you all as my internet service provider, and i run on high speed broadband dial up dsl cable connection through Brighthouse. I'm paying you all thousands and thousands of dollars and i can't connect to the internet! This all happened when you sent me this email last week wanting me to give out my social securiyt number and my credit cards! it's asking me for three and i only gave them two cause i only have two cc's! is that why you all cut off my internet!? your service is ridiculous! i want this fixed right now!!!!"

Slave: "i'm sorry to hear that, Hag. Let me see if i can help you with that probl..."

Hag(interrupting): "you better! i'm losing 16hundred dollars per minute while your stupid service is not working for me."

Slave: "Let's proceed. First that email you mentioned it's not from us. it's a scam email. it's no legitimate correspondence from us and we never send out such request to customers. we shall nev..."

Hag (interrupting): "YOU MEAN YOU SCAMMED ME!!! HOW DARE YOU!!! YOU'LL HEAR FROM MY LAWYER FIRST LIGHT TOMORROW!!!"

Slave: "Hag, i would like to clarify somethings. It's not from us. you have been scammed by someone else. i would like to request from you to please forard that email to our fraud department with the email's full headers. dou you know how to do that mam? if not i would be happy to assist you."

Hag: "Of course i know how to do that! what do you think of me! i (was) a system administrator of our company!"

Slave: "I see, so please forward it to ***@elnk.net with full headers so we can try to work on it for our custom..."

Hag: "what are headers? and what do you mean forward it?, send it to other people? are you crazy? i don't want others to have the same bad experience i got from you guys!"

Slave(aggravated): "let me me show you how..."

***20 frustating minutes later...

Hag: "it's that easy! Ha! tsk tsk tsk... i know that... i was just testing you kids if you know how to do it... I want to you to change my password, right now."

***2 minutes later...

Slave: "uhm... ok. done."

Hag: "one more thing i need you to change my social security number too..."

Slave: "err... i don't think that is even possible. and even if it were possible we are not the people you need to speak with. contact your local municipality, try to find someone who "can" try to do this for you."

Hag: "AHA! i know you would say that! that's what you guys are good at! giving the pointing finger. it's always not you who can deal with it. always passing the blame to someone else..."

Slave: "No Reaction..."

Hag: "you there? you there? you there? you there?"

Slave: "yes i'm here. i can't assist you on that."

Hag: "Oh well, tell me this, why can't i go online?"

Slave: "what lights are solid on the cable modem?"

Hag: "what cable modem. the cable guy took it out last yesterday because they say it was defective, they said they will bring it back tomorrow!"

Slave (stumped): "Hag, what can i say, that's the reason why you are not online. you don't have a cable modem present in your network."

Hag: "what has my NETWORTH got to do with this?!!! do you think I can't afford you all! i can buy your company right now if i wanted to!!!?"

Slave: "Hag, i said netWORK, not netWORTH. you don't have a cable modem, how can you connect to the internet!"

Hag: "I have cable! that's how! Is there a supervisor i can speak with. you don't seem to know what you're doing."

Slave: "None."

Hag: "oh well, what can i do, i'll just call other cable providers which are cheaper than yours and they don't give you darn excuses that just because you have your cable modem for repair you can't use your cable service!!!"

Slave: "i'm sorry you feel that way, but just go over your last statement, and if you analyze it, you will see it my way. i wish i can do more for you."

Hag: "yes there is, send me those survey forms that you all send out and i will tell them how much your service sucks!"

***Hag hung up...
this is a true story. It was my first call, and it lasted for 42 aggravating minutes.
I can only do so much...some people are impossible...

Cleaning out the Closet

I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken - and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived. -- Margaret Mitchell

i was running through my stuff in my closet just to free up space and give it a breather from all of the junk i forcefully tried to hide in there, same with useles personal stuff which i never use but i can't find the heart to throw or give away. from he-man and skeletor action figures to headles egon spengler and limbless peter parker to old T-squares and engineering compasses that i so dearly "took" care of back in college years. as i was going through the big pile of mess i have, i came across my ex and i's stuff in college.

i saw there all of the stationeries and love letters she sent me, all the hallmark cards and snail mails we exchanged; all the cute little angels and small tokens she had given me, same with the movie ticket stubs that i never gave out to the cinema ushers just to keep a souvenir of every movie date we had, and the hundreds of bus tickets we accumulated during bus rides to and from school. Thousands worth of Globe and Smart cards that i have spent our celphones and also shell and petron receipts i collected for gas.

i gave ore attention to the letters i got, and after reading through them for sometime, i thought to myself, i wasn't that bad.

i just realized we had so much good times together. so much in 7 years, we had been in love for so long. it's really sad it ended, but it's better this way. she may not realize it, but the day i gave up is also the day i personally think is the day i showed my ultimate love for her.

it has always been said, if you really love a person, set her free. if she comes back in kind, she's yours forever. if she doesn't then it really wasn't meant to be...

it's better this way.

**some text missing...**

5 minutes ago, there were 15-20 paragraphs worth of internal rants on this page. i was blogging about my internal rants about my hell month at work, how im brooding inside about me being on Abay, and how i almost resigned yesterday because of intense ire. i've been suffering from work. i've been venting and releasing and calming myself of mental anguish...

that was 5 minutes ago...
i was busy minding my own business when my mentally unsound and sleep deprived supervisor, Marif decided to bug me. she was surprised i blog too, and she was so excited to show me her own blog site with all of it's newly uploaded Clearwater pictures she has took on our outing. it took time to load the pages on my browser, and with overflowing persistency, she tried all the available browsers she can find on my machine just to show it me and paulito. the pics were nice for some cultures...

then she didn't want us to see the url so she decided to hit all the options to clear history; yes she did this with all perseverance... of course with restrictions on the pc, url history shall not be erased, only website content!!!

so the 30 minute blog ended with a blank white screen...

life sucks...

sometimes, it just ain't worth it

it was only 10 minutes before my shift starts when i got to PS today. far from my nature of being an early bird, the past few days, i have been effortfully fighting the urge not to go to work anymore. as the days go by, i feel i'm losing that battle. as i dragged my ass to my station, i saw my PC has been shutdown, again! argh!

we work in a call center, for crying out loud and we don't shutdown pc's, we just log off! argh!
this page has been my website for quite sometime now. and i saw lon's comment on my last post. true. very true. the coming days will be long ones.

then i decided to take a peek at her own post. then there it was! my summer theme song! A Burt Bacarach original, I will never fall in love again...

What do you get when you fall in love?
A girl with a pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble.
I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

What do you get when you kiss a girl?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia.
After you do, she'll never phone(text) you.
I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

Don't tell me what is all about,
'Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out,
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you fall in love?
You get enough tears to fill an ocean
That's what you get for your devotion.
I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow.
Don't tell me what it's all about
`Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you

That is why I'm here to remind you.

What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So, for at least, until tomorrow
I'll never fall in love again
Oh, I'll never fall in love again

sad but true... it's really a wonderful feeling when you are in the middle of one. with all of it's highs and lows and it's complexities. it could be the best feeling one can get.

downside is just like anything in this world, dichotomy exists. when one loses it, it could be hell. literally, especially if the two were really in-love. especially if you were the one left out, or was dumped. the other party would and could recover easier and faster, and the dumped one will feel worse knowing this fact...

oh hell...
it could be worse...

life sucks...
love sucks...

some good things are really not meant to last

"Better by far you should forget and smile, Than that you should remember and be sad"
- christina rossetti

i have been bloggin for the past few days, almost everyday now that i've thought about it. honestly speakin, the past couple of weeks had been a blast. i had been spending a lot of time with Cindy. everything had been fine, great even. hard on the pocket, but it was worth it. each great day i spent with her, had been documented in detail. but for some reason i was never, ever able to publish them. i don't know why, they just were not published. it's not as if i got too lazy to publish them nor was i not proud to let it be known that i indeed had been happy then.

now i knew why. they were not to last. nor were they meant to be to begin with.

"Better by far you should forget and smile, Than that you should remember and be sad", i have read this line, uhm... i don'y know, way back in mid-high to early college, and i had been practicing it in my life. always hed been. it thought me how to accept things that i can't change and made me stronger, strong enough internally to learn about acceptance and made me quicker to pick up the pieces to move on.

i should've known better. i have tried my best to keep it. but as i have said to myself before, i have already said and done what was needed for our relationship. i have been hurt too many times already. everything has an end. it's time.

it's time to say goodbye.

this same time exactlty 7 years ago, i was one of the happiest people on earth.

7 years later, it had to end.

it was fun...

i will surely miss you.

Goodbye Cindy.